Blog

Stealth Wealth

Investment

|

5.5.22 |

Become Wealth Editor

How to Live a Rich Life Without Anyone Knowing

Two brothers, night out, same bar. One, a flash of luxury in a brand-new Lamborghini, custom suit, Rolex glinting on his wrist. The other, understated in classic Levi jeans, a black t-shirt, no watch, and a humble 4WD parked outside. Who's the millionaire?

While it’s easy to assume the flashy brother is the wealthiest, the truth might surprise you.

Have you ever noticed how some of the richest people in New Zealand, and elsewhere, seem to blend seamlessly into the background?

They don't flaunt their wealth with flashy cars or designer clothes. Instead, they live a quiet, unassuming life.

This is the personification of stealth wealth.

What is Stealth Wealth?

Stealth wealth is the art of living a wealthy life without drawing undue attention to your financial status.

So-called ‘quiet millionaires’ shun the show-off lifestyle, and you won’t be hearing them brag about their seven-figure stockpile.

This is highlighted in The Millionaire Next Door, a popular personal finance book that challenges many people's assumptions about wealth.

The authors, Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko conducted extensive research on millionaires and found that many of them live relatively modest lifestyles, contrary to popular belief.

“Many people who live in expensive homes and drive luxury cars do not actually have much wealth. Then, we discovered something even odder: many people who have a great deal of wealth do not even live in upscale neighbourhoods,” the authors wrote.

Instead, these secret millionaires live in modest neighbourhoods, drive used cars and are diligent savers and investors.

Stealth wealth is more than just a financial strategy. It's about prioritising substance over show, remaining focussed on genuine relationships, and enjoying the benefits of wealth without public fanfare.

How to Spot a Quiet Millionaire

Picture a man in Red Band gumboots dredging through muddy paddocks, a man whose influence stretches across New Zealand without anyone knowing his name. Garry Robertson is that man.

A master of stealth wealth, Robertson has quietly amassed a property empire, turning over billions of dollars while remaining largely under the radar.

The Mosgiel-born entrepreneur is the mastermind behind some of Auckland's most significant housing developments, including Milldale, Millwater, Silverdale, and Flat Bush, which have provided homes for tens of thousands of New Zealanders.

"In the Red Bands, they don't see me coming," the secret millionaire told the NZ Herald.

Unlike many wealthy individuals who flaunt their success, Robertson has avoided the flashy lifestyle often associated with big money. He's a man who prefers the rugged outdoors to the glitz and glamour of high society. His low-key lifestyle has allowed him to remain largely anonymous, even as his influence has grown.

A quiet millionaire could be in your inner circle. As the saying goes, ‘Money talks, wealth whispers.’ So, what makes them stand out?

1. They are Financially Literate

Quiet millionaires make it their business to learn about personal finance, investing, and time management.

It’s important for them to take responsibility for their finances and they can't do that without knowledge.

Learn more: New Zealand’s decline in financial literacy

2. They are Digital Ghosts

'The Ramsey Show' co-host George Kamel says one easy way to know you are in the presence of a quiet millionaire - “they’re digital ghosts”.

“Anonymity is the quiet millionaire’s luxury of choice,” Kamel says.

“Sure these economic elites might have an Instagram account, but they’re not giving the general public a peek behind the gilded curtain.

“And, why? Because they don’t have to. They don’t have to peddle collagen bars for a cheque, they don’t need you to validate their fit, and they definitely don’t need some scum bag or stalker trying to triangulate their location based on their last beach pic.”

He added, social “… clout chasing doesn’t always equal money making.”

Social Media and the Fake Rich

Alternatively, there is the world of the “fake rich,” where social media platforms are like a stage for our modern-day masquerade ball. Here, luxury items and extravagant lifestyles are the masks hiding a sea of insecurities. It’s like a never-ending episode of “Keeping Up with the Joneses,” but with more filters and fewer reality checks.

People flaunting their high-consumption lifestyles are often stuck in a vicious cycle of “compare and despair,” where the quest to look wealthy robs them of genuine joy and authenticity. These flashy displays are more about fishing for likes and status points than actual financial stability. So, next time you see someone flexing their new yacht, remember: it might just be a very expensive flotation device for their ego!

3. They Live Below Their Means

Quiet millionaires avoid excessive spending and focus on saving and investing. They enjoy a comfortable lifestyle without resorting to conspicuous consumption.

When quiet millionaires do spend, they tend to opt for timeless high-quality pieces, as opposed to splurging on a meaningless item just because it has a Louis Vuitton label on it.

4. They Invest in the Best Experts

Kamel says quiet millionaires filter out financial media as “fear is a terrible financial advisor”.

“That's why they opt out of the exaggerated articles and speculative reporting being spoon-fed to the masses.”

“You've seen these headlines - the dollar is crumbling, buy gold, markets are tumbling, inflation is surging, interest rates are higher than Woody Harrelson on Mount Kilimanjaro.”

He says quiet millionaires know better than to get caught up in that mental spiral.

“They understand that wealth building is a long game and they have no plans to change their strategy based on some media-made dumpster fire.”

This doesn’t mean they have their heads in the sand. They just don't rely on random financial advice.

Instead, they seek out reliable experts: experienced financial advisers, trustworthy lawyers, and mentors with proven success (not just classroom theories or people peddling online schemes). They know quality guidance, even if it costs more, can be a game-changer. Think of it like paying a top accountant to save you more on taxes than your friend charging a pittance and getting you in trouble with the tax collector.

5. They Don’t Invest in Anything They Don’t Understand

Quiet millionaires do not invest or agree to invest in something they have no knowledge of.

They work with a team they can trust and make educated decisions.

6. They Understand Time is Money (But Not Everything)

Some quiet millionaires realise that chasing more wealth means sacrificing valuable things – time with loved ones, hobbies, and simply living life. They avoid the "hustle culture" trap that prioritises work over everything else. True wealth comes in many forms, and they understand that.

7. They Love Their Work

Quiet millionaires enjoy their work and are often the ones rolling up their sleeves to get the job done.

They are passionate about their field and usually make an overwhelmingly positive contribution to their chosen craft, and society in general.

8. They Are Charitable

Kamel says quiet millionaires tend to be “crazy generous”.

“Even the loud ones know that generosity is a multiplier.”

Happiness expert Arthur Brooks says one of the things he discovered during his research was the more you give to charity the richer you get. He says for every dollar donated you get on average a $1.60 returned in subsequent years.

9. They Build Genuine Relationships

You might notice they have friends who run in different circles and come from different socio-economic groups. Stealth wealth encourages building relationships based on shared values, interests, and experiences, rather than financial status.

Why Choose Stealth Wealth?

While it might seem counterintuitive to hide your wealth, there are several compelling reasons to do so. Here are some benefits to keeping your finances under wraps:

Financial Security

By avoiding unnecessary expenses and investing wisely, stealth wealth can help you build a substantial net worth and achieve financial independence.

Stress Reduction

Living a less flashy lifestyle can reduce stress and anxiety associated with maintaining a public image of wealth. Avoiding the constant need to maintain a certain image can lead to a simpler, less stressful life.

Genuine Relationships

When people don't know how much money you have, they're more likely to value you for who you are, not your net worth. This can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections.

You’ll worry less about the intentions of your friends, the people you date (or who date your children!), and everyone else you meet.

Plus — it relieves pressure on needing to spend money on expensive gifts or paying for every restaurant meal you attend. People may start to expect more or think you are cheap if you aren’t picking up the tab every time.

Privacy and Security

The less people know about your wealth, the safer you are.

Some may use your generous nature to form a close bond before trying to get something out of you in one way or another, perhaps a favour or just to “borrow a few dollars”.

It’s better to avoid attracting unwanted attention that could lead to scams, theft, or other security risks.

Envy Avoidance

Many who are not experiencing financial freedom find it hard to relate to those who have sacrificed, worked hard and worked smart for many years to build their wealth.

Some may be jealous and direct negative comments or energy your way. This may be in the form of comments like, “You got lucky!” or “You didn’t have to overcome [insert reason here] like me.”

Maybe you did have some fortunate circumstances or natural advantages. However, based on Become Wealth’s firsthand experience of dealing with many wealthy people, nearly all are self-made, have overcome challenges and setbacks of some variety, and have not built their empires based on luck.

Pressure to Invest

If you flaunt your wealth, you may find others constantly approaching you with the “next big idea,” looking for a loan, or needing capital to start a company.

While investing in new businesses could be a good idea, you could end up being inundated with requests. Many will be from people you don’t know or who have not put much effort into their business idea, and yet they expect you to take most of the risk by putting in most of the funding.

Financial Freedom

Stealth wealth allows you to focus on what truly matters to you, rather than the external validation of wealth.

You didn’t build wealth to receive attention from others, you did it for your own reasons.

You should focus on living your best life – instead of the opposite, which could be slipping into a life of constantly posting flashy pictures on social media or feeling a need to buy the latest gadget, car, or designer accessory to feel good about yourself.

Experiences Over Possessions

Instead of focusing on material possessions, many wealthy Kiwis prioritise experiences like travel, hobbies, and spending time with loved ones.

7 Tips for Practising Stealth Wealth

There will always be people who may know or even assume you are wealthy based on your job title or family. Some may know your salary or about your assets and so on, but you can keep a bit of attention off of you.

Here are some ways you can practise stealth wealth.

1. Avoid Showing Off

Resist the urge to flaunt your wealth on social media. Minimise flashy purchases, such as luxury cars and labelled designer clothing. Many wealthy Kiwis choose to live in modest homes and opt to drive reliable cars.

2. Diversify Your Investments

In some cases, it may make sense to spread your wealth across various assets to reduce risk and avoid drawing attention to your financial holdings.

3. Build a Strong Network

Surround yourself with supportive people who value you for who you are, not your wealth.

4. Give Back Discreetly

Giving back to the community is a core Kiwi value. Wealthy New Zealanders often support local charities and initiatives.

The key is to donate to charities or support community initiatives without seeking public recognition. Philanthropy can be an important aspect of stealth wealth, but it's often done anonymously or through private foundations.

5. Avoid Publicly Listing Information

Being too open about information such as your home address can lead people to creep up on your home, determine how much you paid for it, figure out your council rates bill, and so on.

6. Keep Your Income Confidential

Unless you’re talking to a lender, financial adviser, or accountant, there is no reason to talk about how much you earn.

7. Buy Things with a Purpose

Buy with a purpose and purchase things you like for yourself, not to show off to others or brag.

This doesn’t mean don’t buy nice things, (who wouldn’t want a Ferrari, after all!), but it does mean buy things intentionally and with a full acceptance of the reason why you want the item or experience. Ego can be the downfall of us all, and if you find yourself considering purchases because of how it might look to others, you might need to start challenging your own thinking and motivations.

True financial security commonly brings with it a different set of desires. Those who are genuinely financially secure often find their longing for luxury spending diminishes. They understand that true wealth is not in accumulating things but in the richness of their lives and relationships.

Related articles:

The Bottom Line: Stealth Wealth is a Kiwi Lifestyle

Stealth wealth is more than just a financial strategy; it's a way of life.

Whether you are already a multi-millionaire, or you are working on building your wealth — the benefits of practising stealth wealth are worth considering.

It’s one of the best ways to keep you financially invisible to most of the world and the people around you. Plus, it keeps you focused on the things that really matter in life.

While it might not be possible if you’re a senior executive of a major corporation, athlete, or other celebrity but if you can coast under the radar, you will probably be in much better financial shape and hopefully be much happier too!

Remember, true wealth is measured not by the size of your bank account, but by the quality of your life.